You May be Gay, but I am Gay-er

Many times people have asked me, usually after they get comfortable, "How is it that a Chinese looking guy like you have Gerdyman as a last name?" One confessed that she had expected the usual suspects as answers: I was adopted by German or Scandinavian parents after escaping a civil war somewhere in the Far East, I changed it after living in the USA to sound cool, etc. The truth is a little bit complicated.

I am Indonesian by birth and Chinese by ethnicity. Up till my father's generation (he is now 68), all Chinese people in Indonesia were also considered citizens of China. In the 1960s, economic envy and political pressure from the Army drove the Sukarno government to pass laws to force Chinese to stop trading in the rural areas, to choose Indonesian citizenship, and to change their names to anything but Chinese names.

Many Chinese Indonesians (Orang Tionghoa) decided to go to the ancestral homeland (hui guo) in Mainland China rather than suffer the indignities of discrimination. This was helped by the heavy campaign of the communist party to persuade Overseas Chinese (huaqiao) to return, hoping for foreign exchange after failed economic policies. The vast majority, my father included, did not see a future in Red China, decided to stay, choose Indonesian citizenship, and adopt a different name.

Since my family lived in East Java, naturally he looked for Javanese sounding names. Wanting to preserve the family name GE (Hokkian, pronounced like "gay" in English), he combined it with the Javanese suffix -diman, with an "r" to smooth things out. Hence, the family name Gerdiman was born. English was starting to replace Dutch as the cool foreign language of the archipelago, and so he replaced "i" with the Anglo "y", ending with Gerdyman, whereas his brothers and sisters all kept Gerdiman.

Prior to becoming a US citizen last October in 2006, I considered going back to the old family name. I weighed the costs and benefits and finally decided against it. I live in the San Francisco Bay area, and I can't imagine introducing myself as, "Hi, I am GE (Gay!)". Nothing against the gay people - my daughter's godfather is one - but I like to keep my sexual orientation clear and straight (pun intended). My son Joseph was born in December after I became a citizen. I soon realized I made a wise decision. You see, his middle name is Benjamin, and we often call him Joe Ben for short. My decision may have spared my son from future playground teasing: "Look, Joe Ben Gay is here, can you rub me, I just hurt my foot!". (Ben Gay is the popular brand of a pain relief ointment here in America).

Well, now I have an interesting story to tell. When I interview for a new job, the company interviewers expect to see a tall, blond guy. They almost always are startled to see a short Chinese guy walking in. It's a nice ice breaker. And with my gay friends I always joke: "You may be gay, but I am GE-er!"